Friday, December 7, 2012

Pick A Card, Any Card - A Decade Of Magic

I've been blogging for two years, tweeting off an on for a year and a half, managing a Facebook page for close to three and a YouTube account which is probably the most successful failure Google would have ever seen. All for the undying, ever growing, constantly evolving love of hearing people applaud.
In my decade of doing magic, and my years across social media, never ever have I written or spoken about myself. Even when I'm invited by institutions and organisations who are sweet enough to sit and listen to me talk about pursuing passions, I never include myself as a subject or someone to look up to and I have absolutely no humility. But I'm pretty sure that I'm not a person who people can or should look up to. But off late a few people have been asking me to write about how I feel about magic, what I feel about showmanship and the beautiful world of performances, so my tiny little thoughts, much like most of my days, start and end with the phrase, "Pick A Card, Any Card."
But it's not all magic.
I've torn ligaments, bruised my thumbs and scratched my fingers. Who thought sleight of hand and mind reading could hurt you so often? I've been ignored by some friends and called a donkey and someone whose wasting his life doing magic by some people from my school.
I've acted across Delhi. I've played Voldemort, a Punjabi Police Officer and a British Rapist. Nasser Abdullah thinks I'm scary, Ayushman Khurana says he hasn't felt more shocked in his life. I've shared tech with Rajiv Makhni, I've been called creative by Farhan Akhtar. Hariprasad Chaursaia thinks I can play the flute a bit. Ranbir Kapoor has had coffee with me and Rannvijay thought that I'm India's answer to David Blaine. All I can question is why is it only men who praise me?
Kirron Kher kissed me on my forehead and said my magic is more of fooling people but I have an honest smile. Yes, finally a woman. MS Dhoni said he wants me to get inside of the opposing captain's head and Sachin Tendulkar has said a nonchalant "Good Job" to me.
I've performed outside one of the world's largest Apple store and Didier Drogba said he'll never be able to get me out of his head and I've successfully read Derren Brown's mind and left him with a smile. Yet, after all this some old uncles insist on wanting me to make their wives disappear or take a rabbit out of the hat for their grandkids.
After every performance, I reach home after hearing beautiful, all consuming applause only to be told by my mother that I should clean my room. After every performance, I begin to miss the applause, become lonely and go into a phase which I like to romanticise as the dark place creative people go into from time to time.
Shah Rukh Khan calls me "Yaara" and my 3 old nephew thinks I'm PC Sorcar. I like to think he's young and stupid.
I'm over ambitious and see myself as my biggest competitor. Just to have that feeling of bettering myself. I stand on stage time after time, making it a point to keep one seat in the front row empty, just to imagine a younger version of myself sitting there laughing at me and saying that he was better. I smile back at him at the end of every performance and think in my head, "Next time, I'll be better than you."
And now I smile at all of you reading, who've supported me throughout. And because you're here, "Pick A Card, Any Card..." and it all starts again. To be continued, after another decade.